An Unexpected Calling: South Dakota Part 1

          In 1997, ICQ as it was known was a chat program in the relative early days of the internet. It was an alternative to those chat rooms that could be found on America Online but it was a lot more random and seemed to be more worldwide. I spent a lot of time using the program because I honestly enjoyed chatting with people that lived in different places in the country and around the world. I had a small group of individuals, mostly women because I was single and lonely in those, that I would chat with regularly. There were girls in Romania, England and Australia, one in Texas and another in California. We would mainly chat about what it was like to live in our areas etc. There was a button that you could push that would suggest possible people to chat with based on interests. I enjoyed this because in those days the chat rooms were just that. Rooms full of people all talking at once and you had to compete for attention. Most of the rooms were what we would call a “Sword Fight” because there would be 2 girls and 21 guys in the chat. ICQ was a one on one chat so you avoided all that. So each night as I was chatting I would constantly hit the Random button and send messages to interesting people. Most times they didn’t respond but I met a lot of interesting people there. And one of them would be Denise , a bull rider from South Dakota. 

          It was only about 3 days of chatting before Denise would give me her phone number. Over the next year I would develop strong feelings for her and I finally planned a trip to visit South Dakota. Most of my friends and family thought I was nuts. This was not a common occurrence yet, meeting people on the internet. But I was new in my christian walk and honestly felt like God was calling me to do this. He was calling me but it wasn’t to Denise. 

          I had never flown on a plane before and I chose a heck of a flight to be my first. First I would take off from Leguardia Airport in NYC and land in Chicago O’hare. From there I had to literally sprint across the airport to make a connecting flight to Minneapolis, Minnesota. When I got on board the plane I had the middle seat in a row of three. I sat between two older women who stared at me in horror because the sweat was so heavy on my face from my run across the airport. Once in Minneapolis, having completed two flights, I was ok with flying and rather enjoyed it. I wasn’t concerned about the 3 flights from Minneapolis to Huron, South Dakota.

           When I got to the gate to board, I didn’t see a plane. When I asked the person at the desk what time boarding was she said I could get on the plane anytime I wanted. Huh? I walked through the door and stared in horror at the tiny propeller plane in front of me. A Beechcraft 1900 I will never forget it. The plane could seat maybe 12 or 14 people and there was no door to the cockpit. You just looked at the pilot and co-pilots back. As the anxiety built the plane got into position for take off. I was fairly certain this was my last day on earth when i saw the Pilot tap the co-pilot on the shoulder and then point to a gauge on the dash, tap it a couple of times and then shrug his shoulders. Once in the air I found the ride of the smaller plane to be more like a car ride and I was able to nap. Once on the ground the anxiety of the fight was gone it was quickly replaced by the anxiety of a different kind. The thought that i’m about to see Denise in the flesh for the first time. 

          The Huron airport was no bigger than a bus depot. The same guy that guides the plane into the gate was also the baggage guy and the ticket salesman. As I was waiting to exit I could see Denise and her 3 children standing in the lobby. As scared as I was, I was determined to be bold. I walked through the door, I looked at her, she looked at me, and when I saw her smile I went for it. Before I even said hello I planted a big passionate kiss on her that lasted about 15 seconds. Denise had 3 awesome kids. Kristina 11, Michael 9 and Joey 6. And instantly I loved all three. They thought it was the funniest thing when I reacted with excitement to seeing a Pheasant on the side of the road. Pheasants are a rare sight in Connecticut but in South Dakota are almost as abundant as pigeons in New York City or Seagulls on the Jersey shore.  As we drove the 14 miles from the airport to the ranch i would be staying at I thought I landed in a painting. Rolling fields of Sunflowers, Grain elevators and Cattle all dotted the landscape. Men on tractors and people riding horses were everywhere. At the end of a dirt road was the Silver Shield Ranch. The Silver Shield Ranch would be my home during my 8 day stay in South Dakota and was owned by Denise’s Mom Barbara and stepfather Norm.z. Norm would prove to be one of the great men that I would encounter in my life. Norm was a retired Captain of the LAPD and co-founder of the famous McGruff the crime dog program. Before retirement he headed up their domestic violence sector. Norm was 61 and was still carved out of wood and Barbara was a bleach blonde 46 year old knock out who looked like she belonged among fashionista’s in a big city, certainly not mucking stables in South Dakota. If Denise and I connected quickly, Norm and I connected even faster. He loved his 20 quarter horses and fed off my eagerness to be around them.

          I remember how he put his hand on my shoulder as we walked down to the barn the first time. He said “What’s your name again, son?” I said “Corbiey, Sir” and we stopped and he looked at me. “Corbiey, you don’t have to call me Sir but I’m glad you did. It shows you have respect. You’re gonna need that here. These horses are 1500 pound animals and while they are friendly, they can kill you if they really want to.” Despite the fact that Denise was 31 I would find out later that the reason I stayed at the Ranch and not Denise’s house was that Norm insisted on it. Given his background it was important for him to make sure Denise was safe. That part I figured out relatively quickly but Denise seemed to resent the fact that we clicked. When I layed down in the spare bedroom there was a picture mounted on the wall. It looked like it was drawn by a 5 year old. It was a picture of a child holding a teddy bear and grasping his mother’s hand. They were standing in front of a house with flowers and trees. And there was a blue man standing in front of them and a black car in the background. The words written on it said. “Thank you Captain Schilz. Now my daddy can’t hurt my mommy anymore.” It broke my heart. 

          When I woke early that first morning I learned my second thing about Ranch life. 7am is considered sleeping in. Saturday’s on the ranch were big days. Family and friends descended on the ranch to help with various duties. I was told from the beginning there are no vacationers. Everyone has to pull their weight and wanted to prove that I was up to the task. My job was to destroy and old wooden breeding shoot behind the barn. And Denise’s two sons were my helpers. I was given something they called a hammer but it looked more like a Maul that a minotaur would wield. And I was told it was Norm’s prized tool. So of course the first thing I did was break the handle. It was almost a timeless place. I’m not saying its right and i’m not saying its wrong but its very old fashioned. The men work and work hard. About 2 then women come outside with ice tea and lemonade. Enough time to drink one glass is what you got and then back to work. When dinner is ready everyone drops what they are doing. Men lined up at the sink and one by one hands were washed. You then gather around a large table but you don’t sit down. You wait for the women to come to the table and no one sits until everyone is there. The women actually serve the men. And while that seems old fashioned and not very liberated there was something in the sincereness of the thank yous that confirmed this simple act was not taken for granted by the men. 

          The talk around the table was positive. And while we were working profanity was abundant it stayed away from the dinner table. There was no intentional belching or flatulence at the South Dakota dinner table. Bad manners and foul language in front of a lady are crimes punishable by death out there. When dinner is finished the men return to the barn to rotate the horses and make sure they have grain and hay for the night. And then you sit on a porch and watch the son set with a cold beer listening to the sounds of a guitar or country music. Everyone that had a special someone was cuddled together young and old alike. Despite being 61, Norm was very affectionate with Barbara. Just one of many things that I would come to love about him. 

           On the first 8 day trip I fell in love with the whole idea of South Dakota. I loved it there. Denise was the face of it but I love so much more. I decided almost immediately that I was going to move there. I would visit two more times before it became a reality. But over those 3 visits I would alot about both horses and myself. 

          There were two men that were at the ranch that I had also come to know. Lonny and Pat. Pat had gone to school with Denise in California and had been an admirer of hers for a long time. He was kind of an odd cat and socially awkward. He had come to visit Denise in South Dakota when she first relocated and fell in love with the atmosphere. I understood completely. After one visit he moved there and took a swan dive at ranching. He bought a horse and paid to keep it at the ranch. Stormy was her name and Pat dumped every drop of love he had on that horse. He would come over on days off just to spend time with her. Now Lonny lived and worked at the ranch part time in exchange for boarding and breeding privileges for his own horses. He was a nice man but on my second visit he was laid up after having a hip replacement. Two days after I left Lonny would pass away tragically while simply having his stitches removed. This was devastating to Norm. Lonny wasn’t just a live-in ranch hand he was Norm’s best friend. 

           I was looking forward to the third visit the most because I would be spending Christmas at the ranch. With Lonny’s basement apartment now vacant Norm’s biological daughter Liz who had been a victim of domestic violence and had moved out to the ranch. Pat had picked up a lot of the slack in Lonny’s absence. To save money I decided to fly into Souix Falls and Denise would make the 2 and half hour drive to pick me up. This would prove to be a decision that was made by the hand of God. My concern began to grow when I couldn’t get in touch with Denise. The plan was to fly in on December 23rd and Fly out on December 29th. Gather my things and drive out for Good on January 5th. Was she having second thoughts? A million things ran through my head. Should I get on the plane? Did something happen? I headed to the airport with no idea what was going on. Finally my phone rang. I remember Denise’s voice. “Make sure you’re on that plane. There was an accident last night. I don’t think Norm is going to make it. Liz is dead and Pat is paralyzed. They airlifted Pat and Norm to Souix Falls” I swear God put it in my heart to fly into Souix Falls. 

          When I entered the hospital room to see Norm you couldn’t tell he was a man from the swelling. His injuries, Broken back, compound fracture in his right arm, Broken right heel, Both orbital bones were fractured, Broken Jaw and nose, punctured lung, lacerated kidney and numerous broken ribs. He would make it. But he would be in the hospital for the next 6 months. Pat would regain his ability to walk but would spend 1 month in the hospital and 2 more in rehab. Barbara would stay in Souix Falls by Norm’s side leaving the Ranch responsibilities to Denise and I. This would prove to be a defining moment that would shape my life. And the calling i felt to move there would become clear to me. It was time to learn what I had in me.